We’re 4 months into what has seems like the longest and shortest times of my life. I see my children growing and learning each day and my heart swells with pride and then shrinks as I realize that we are on borrowed time. These moments won’t last forever and I am presently missing out on 60 hours a week of their lives and my heart breaks. While I know that it’s hard being in the thick of it and I know that it is important that I have a break, some me time, and that things will get better, I still can’t reconcile the logic that working is HELPING to raise them and I can’t help missing my children. It’s like a piece of myself has been lost until they’re back in my arms and smiling up at me, reminding me why I must be away from them, as hard as it is right now.
This past weekend both of my babies were sick for the first time. Tiberius more so than Temperance, who got off just dealing with a cold, while her brother had his first fever and was markedly not his normal self. He would still smile at us but he wasn’t nearly as animated and he didn’t talk as much. I am glad he is feeling better, save for the nasty congestion which has caused upper respiratory irritation, but at least the fever’s broken, and I’m not waking up several times a night to feel his forward to make sure it hasn’t gotten worse. The doctor said it should resolve itself in a week but to keep an eye out on difficulty breathing and if he spikes another fever, but so far he is back to his adorable, sweet self.
On the other hand, Robby and I got hit as we;;, Robby first, and then myself. I woke up with a sore throat on Tuesday and decided it was best if I called out so I didn’t add insult to injury by being on the phones all day, well later that afternoon I ended up with a fever, which followed through until the next day. Least to say, it’s been fun, but I’m on the mend. My throat is definitely still tender but I’m trying to keep hydrated and medicated so I can return to work tomorrow. Robby on the other hand, well he’s lost his voice and is just downright miserable. That boy’s immune system is like paper, once wet, it goes down very quickly, lol.
Overall, we are doing okay. There’s still not a lot of time to jump on the computer during their current stage in life, but as they get older and are better able to self-entertain AND find more interests in toys, that is bound to change. Motherhood is nothing like I would have expected it to be, and while it’s one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had, it’s not one that I would change for anything. I mean, look at those smiles, they’re irresistible.